coobybook Chapter 381 [Empire] Past
Chapter 381 [Empire] Past
I looked at him steadily: "I am not a substitute for Shan Qi, and I won't play any emotional games with you. I don't even know what your identity is. Can you please be normal?"
As soon as I finished speaking, the air froze for a moment. His expression froze, as if I had touched a sensitive spot. A complex emotion flashed in his eyes. He stood there, like a statue struck, motionless. His expression lost its previous sharpness, replaced by a deep sense of bewilderment and confusion.
"You..." His lips trembled slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but his throat seemed to be blocked by something, and no sound came out for a long time. Then, he lowered his head, staring at the ground, as if he was thinking about something, or seemed to be avoiding something.
I stood there, feeling a sense of emptiness and heaviness in my heart. This emptiness didn't come from his reaction, but from my own doubts.
But, so what? Everything about him now is incomprehensible to me. I don't understand why he insists on doing this, or why he would cause himself so much trouble.
"Why are you doing this?" I couldn't help but ask again, my tone somewhat calm, but deep down, my composure was long gone. I no longer wanted to continue this ambiguous relationship, nor did I want him to stay by my side. Our relationship should have clear boundaries, and I was tired of this seemingly thin, yet complex, fog.
He didn't answer immediately, but sighed deeply, raised his head, and met my gaze again. In that instant, I saw something I had never seen before, as well as fatigue, confusion, and a hope that was almost gone.
"As you wish..." His voice was low and trembling. "I don't mean to make you a substitute, and I'm not playing any games. I know this is a little confusing, and you might not even understand, but I... I just hope you can understand me." He took a deep breath, a trace of pain flashing in his eyes. "You are... the only person who can make me feel truly alive."
He paused, as if it was difficult for him to continue, and finally lowered his head and fell silent.
I froze, a flood of thoughts swirling through my mind. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know where to begin. Every time I thought I had a clear understanding of him, or of our relationship, he would shatter all my perceptions in some unpredictable way.
I took a deep breath and whispered, "I can't go on like this." My tone was firm, but also mixed with a hint of reluctance, which even surprised myself.
He didn't respond, just stood there silently, his eyes still filled with the kind of confusion and pain that I couldn't reach.
"I...you don't understand." He said softly, the light in his eyes gradually dimming, "I know I shouldn't rely on you, but I just can't help it...Every time I see you, I can't help but want to get closer."
I was silent for a long time before I slowly spoke, "Each of us must be responsible for our own lives. We can't rely on others for everything..." I squeezed my fingers hard, feeling a little heavy in my heart. "So, let's get out of this. We all need to get away from these troubles."
He was stunned for a moment, as if thinking about the meaning of my words, then he smiled bitterly: "Yes, I should move on, but..." He paused, looked at me, as if he wanted to say something else, but swallowed his words back.
I didn't say anything else, simply turning and heading for the door, ready to leave this suffocating space. The air seemed to suddenly become oppressive, and every step seemed incredibly heavy.
"I'm serious..." His words came out so softly that they sounded like a sigh.
But I had already opened the door and was ready to leave: "I'm not Shan Qi."
The moment I finished speaking, the air seemed to freeze. He, standing by the doorframe, seemed to be unable to fully grasp my meaning. The few seconds of silence seemed to stretch out, and his gaze slowly shifted from me to the blank space in his palm. In that moment, he seemed to have lost all his strength, and he looked extremely exhausted.
"I know..." He finally whispered, his tone filled with helplessness and self-mockery, "I know you're not him. You've never been him." He closed his eyes, as if he no longer wanted to face the unsolvable complexity before him, "It's just that I never wanted to give up."
I stood at the door, my fingertips lingering on the doorknob, a little stiff. The silence in the air pressed down on me like a tide, almost suffocating me.
"You're right. I shouldn't have continued to rely on you so much." His voice was low and slow, as if he was talking to himself. "I never thought you would become so indifferent. You're just... someone who appeared accidentally in my world."
His eyes dimmed, as if the self-control he had been trying to maintain had finally collapsed under my words. His face turned pale, a mixture of loss and pain, but he didn't show any excessive emotion, as if this was his destined fate.
I gently put down my hand, turned around, looked at him and didn't say anything else.
In fact, at this moment, I finally understood something. I shouldn't continue to trap myself in a position that doesn't belong to me. We've all been lost and wandered in our own worlds, and ultimately, it's time to let go.
He sat there again, head bowed, a look of sorrow on his face, as if everything was beyond his control. My heart wasn't as heavy as before; I even felt a sense of relief. This situation, for both him and me, would have to be faced sooner or later.
"You'll be fine." I finally spoke, my voice soft but firm. "We all need to find our true path, don't we?"
He didn't answer, but just stared at the table, a complex emotion flashing in his eyes. Was it a silent farewell or a silent letting go? I no longer know.
I turned and left, closing the door gently, as if completely closing off that fruitless past.